My para normal life

Hmm seems like my life is a little bit abnormal. I've seen ghosts since I was just a child. Things continued on through my teens, although I did my best to ignore it, and coming into adulthood I realized this was going to be a regular occurance. 

I also have been gifted with a beautiful 6th sense. Intuitive and some claraudiant.  Working more on the last part as I don't believe it when I hear the stuff coming in. 

Saying all that.. The rest of my life.. Ain't the best. My body is a piece of shit and health is gone. Things could always be worse tho. Oh yah.. I live with my mom yet :) yes it is a blessing and a curse. :) / :(  Blessing because I love her and want to be there to help her and she is here to help me on bad days. Curse because when (on the few times I have considered  bringing someone home (date) how do you say that.. I would let you come in, but I live with my mom yet. Yah, no. Anyway.. I don't date that much anymore anyway. Guys just don't get me.

I am enjoying my life as is.. Medicated and purring with puppy dog tails. Yep you read that right. Lol. We have all together 4 cats and 1 dog .. 2 of the cats are seniors and the dog is getting up there too. 2 of the cats are 6 months old. :) yeah life is fun lol;)

Signing off for now.. Meow 

Viva Las Vegas!

Whoo hoo.. I am excited to announce.. My bestie and I are headed to Vegas this summer. Sigh.. I hope to have some money ahead so I don't have to look an not touch. Praying $ comes my way. Some how my credit limit got jacked up one thou.. Awesome but paying it off will be a bitch. I could just pay her of with the c.card but then will have nothing at all for the trip.. I will be paying her (since I owe her for the last trip yet sigh) prob up till the trip. She is the most kind hearted understanding wonderful friend I could have been blessed with. 

Anyway.. We got a lot of stuff to get planned before then. :) so excited!!  Never dreamt of going there. She had been there before tho.. So we need to make some new memories.. Lol! 

Viva Las Vegas baby!

The only hitch for me is moms appt before that and my getting my uterus and ovaries yanked out. God help me I would love to sue the bitch dr. Who said those things.. But I won't. I will just tell everyone  what a bitch she is. I am hoping to get the surgery done soon in Hettinger. Fingers crossed. 

Laters

J

Rip my heart out

So I am in the car with mom and grandma.. Grandma is queen of hurtful words now.. Anyway.. I was lamenting that my "kids" had grown up. Grandma said what kids .. I said the kids I babysat from the day they were born to they day they left me.. They called me mom and their mom second mom. They depended on me for their meals, baths, everything. They were my kids in my heart. My only kids I will ever have. Grandma says they weren't your kids, you can't have kids. What a great way to start the fucking day. Mom said, didn't you take care of kids that weren't yours that called you mom grandma? She said well maybe.. Well. She can't have kids. These were in her heart as close as she can get to her own kids. So .. Besides being depressed for other reasons that just topped the fucking cake. Goodie fucking goodie. 

Lol I know a Hollingsworth

Omfg. What the hell. So this person, We will call him "Bob Market".. Anyway.. Bob lives in our quaint little town where everyone knows you...your mom, dad, aunts uncles, grandparents etc..even to the point of where you live now, where you grew up, etc. So.. Bob moved into town and claimed to be the nephew of a town leader here.. And we all welcomed him in with open arms.. For why would someone lie? Then we noticed..Bob was a little quiet. That is ok. People are like that until you get to know them sometimes.  So we waited.

Bob also drives a Mercedes Benz when everybody else around here either has pos cars or pickup trucks... So he kinda sticks out a bit. 

Finally Bob started working with the local people and getting to know them and they weren't so sure he was strange. 

A couple years pass.. Bob isn't in the phone book this year when I go to call him about something. Hmmm. So I ask about it downtown. Oh.. Don't'cha know.. Bob is a Hollingsworth! SAY WHAT?  Yep.. Check the address. Shirley saw it over when she was looking for Bertha Hollingsdale's phone #!  Some people! Anyway.. So with all the hidden names an such. Kenna will prob guess who I am talking about.

So sick..

For the past couple months I have been having horrible cramps in my lower bowels and "lady parts" areas. I have irritable bowel syndrome, but this is insane.. it started hurting by my belly button, so had a fear of infection. Went to Dr, he said (after I mentioned I thought it could be my appendix, my celiacs getting worse, or ulcerative colitis, as I had the symptoms of the 2nd.) He felt of my tender abdomen, asked several questions, said he was sure it wasn't the appendix, but he wanted blood work run so we could check for infection and anemias. He said if they came back neg. That we could go ahead with a upper lower g.I..... So.. I got the scoping, and they found nothin but a little irritation. He came in to discuss things with mom, who was there as my driver, and she either came apart or had a long talk with him, because after I came to in extreme pain, they wheeled me into the room for breakfast, g.f. of course, and said in 10 mins they were taking me for a cat scan on my lady parts. I was supposed to be getting word on whatever the answer was. Got nothin yet but now have an ulcer. :'( I stupidly drank a v8 this mornin cuz I was thirsty.. have been wracked by cramps since then. So.. waiting on an answer. Kenna thinks this is from stress... A lot of my friends and family are ill. God help us all.

Ok,I'm getting a little excited!!

This year is looking to be an exciting one! I am planning a trip with my best friend since first grade. We both have a huge love of Lucille Ball, she was a staple of our growing up, and something that we can rely on to keep us laughing now that we are grown up. So we decided on a trip to her home town! Jamestown NY. I have never flown before, and don't have a lot of money, so my best friend being as great as she is, has said, pay me as you can, and I am doing just that, saving up, and paying as I can. She's got the tickets and rooms paid for and I am paying her back as soon as possible so we can have a good trip. The trip will take place Aug 1-7. So that has been on my mind lately..then I got a text from my sister Jomarie..
 Hey sis..you think you'd be up for a visit from us? OMG YES!! So..it's turning into a trip with me too, this will be like the 16th through the 20'th and we might be going to visit Jessica in Valley Springs. She's going to be a new mommy come June and we haven't seen her in Seven years..that's a long ass time. We are hoping to go through Timber Lake and see the grandparent's graves, see the family still there and in Mobridge, it would be great if there was a way that we could get together. JJ is planning on coming along. We're planning on making a week of it, but we're not sure who all will be there all the time.. not sure if JJ will be flying into Boise or Rapid or Bismarck..and her hubby..if he will be flying in with her..or if it will be separate time..or what.. Anyway..it should be a good time had by all. It's been seven years since I've seen JJ,Jomi and Jessica.. It could get a little expensive, and Kenna being the amazing friend that she is, has said she understands that and said that I can wait on paying.. What did I do to deserve her. I am so excited about these trips..I could pee my pants..but I think i will refrain from that..it'd be a little gross. Hoping I don't get over done and get sick..will have my meds with me, and extra meds for migraines, allergies, diarrhea from food..etc. and will do the same on the airplane. Kenna has got the window seat for that most of the flights and that's good, or I would probably freak out.. She got me a window seat for the night time one..will be neat to see the runway lights I guess..lol never been in a plane so don't know what it will be like lol. The last flight is a little nine seater..yikes. lol. I can't wait for Lucy fest hehe there'll be a lot of Lucy stuff going on, and so much Lucy things there to see, it will be amazing, we can even go to Celeron, the town she was born in, it is really just so amazing too, to be so far away from home.. Wisconsin, Montana and the border of Nebraska are the furthest I have been from SD..so this will be the furthest for me! Wish me luck!!

"Have a good time"

Normally, that would be great..a fine thing to say..but in the respect to I am going home to lie down because my migraine is coming back, and mom replies, have a good time as I am walking out the door? WTF? I walked backwards in to grandma's house, repeating, Have a good time? Have a good time? getting louder..until I got to her. She said, Well, you'll be talking to Kenna or someone, right? Or watching Lucy...you'll have a good time. I said, Ma, You remember how bad my headache was last night? It will probably get like that again. Started in my neck and went up to my side of my head..was so nauseous that I swore everything from Christmas on was coming up.. didn't lose anything tho. Thank goodness. Anyway. I was just fuming mad..which didn't make matters any worse. I am sitting here writing, knowing my New Year's Eve party is down the drain, unless things get feeling better, and then i probably still won't go. Laurel is supposed to be dropping off Joshua in Bowman tonight, and coming through and want's to go to the party, but I probably can't go now. :S Sigh. Praying my headache goes away..but then again that kaeroke lady plays her music so loud the walls bounce.. it's just insane.

2nd gripe is I just can't make mom understand what Fibro is.. i post stuff online, she just equates everything with arthritis..I feel like banging my head against the wall. She will never understand it. I read off the symptoms the side effects, she says "Well you can read yourself into everything" I Said, NO SHIT, That's BECAUSE I HAVE IT!" Well don't get upset with me..she said..OMG..I just want to kill myself sometimes..it would be so easy. There is no way to get through to them what I go through daily..they have no fucking clue. How my nerves just decide to start shocking me..how sometimes just a touch can cause me such tremendous pain that I want to cry..but sometimes I am fine..I usually just roll my eyes when mom compares everything to arthritis, because I have 2 types and so she thinks everything is my arthritis hurting. I fucking know when my arthritis hurts, they're separate aches and pains. Then she says, you worry too much about your health. WTF What the ever loving fuck! OMG.. And she doesn't worry about her CANCER? OK.. SO.. I am not allowed to worry because THERE IS NO FUCKING CURE FOR FIBRO, GLUTEN INTOLERANCE, Ostio OR Rheumatoid ARTHRITIS...AND THE DOCTORS are CONSIDERING grouping FIBRO into MENTAL ILLNESS instead of a real PHYSICAL PAIN! WTELF!  There are so many co-morbid conditions that go with this auto-immune condition that really just fuck you up itself that it just makes my head spin..Anyway....I just had to get this off my chest..either that or drink myself into a stupor..and that wouldn't be good with the imitrex i just took. OMG she said HAVE A GOOD TIME!!! WTELF!!! OK.. Let me hit her upside the head and see if she has a good time..geez..
Anyway..She's had a bad day..been thinking about Connie/Joan a lot today because she didn't know when she died and misses her. Still..No excuse. Anyway I feel better now about it..got it vented...thank you for reading! JLM