Normally, that would be great..a fine thing to say..but in the respect to I am going home to lie down because my migraine is coming back, and mom replies, have a good time as I am walking out the door? WTF? I walked backwards in to grandma's house, repeating, Have a good time? Have a good time? getting louder..until I got to her. She said, Well, you'll be talking to Kenna or someone, right? Or watching Lucy...you'll have a good time. I said, Ma, You remember how bad my headache was last night? It will probably get like that again. Started in my neck and went up to my side of my head..was so nauseous that I swore everything from Christmas on was coming up.. didn't lose anything tho. Thank goodness. Anyway. I was just fuming mad..which didn't make matters any worse. I am sitting here writing, knowing my New Year's Eve party is down the drain, unless things get feeling better, and then i probably still won't go. Laurel is supposed to be dropping off Joshua in Bowman tonight, and coming through and want's to go to the party, but I probably can't go now. :S Sigh. Praying my headache goes away..but then again that kaeroke lady plays her music so loud the walls bounce.. it's just insane.
2nd gripe is I just can't make mom understand what Fibro is.. i post stuff online, she just equates everything with arthritis..I feel like banging my head against the wall. She will never understand it. I read off the symptoms the side effects, she says "Well you can read yourself into everything" I Said, NO SHIT, That's BECAUSE I HAVE IT!" Well don't get upset with me..she said..OMG..I just want to kill myself sometimes..it would be so easy. There is no way to get through to them what I go through daily..they have no fucking clue. How my nerves just decide to start shocking me..how sometimes just a touch can cause me such tremendous pain that I want to cry..but sometimes I am fine..I usually just roll my eyes when mom compares everything to arthritis, because I have 2 types and so she thinks everything is my arthritis hurting. I fucking know when my arthritis hurts, they're separate aches and pains. Then she says, you worry too much about your health. WTF What the ever loving fuck! OMG.. And she doesn't worry about her CANCER? OK.. SO.. I am not allowed to worry because THERE IS NO FUCKING CURE FOR FIBRO, GLUTEN INTOLERANCE, Ostio OR Rheumatoid ARTHRITIS...AND THE DOCTORS are CONSIDERING grouping FIBRO into MENTAL ILLNESS instead of a real PHYSICAL PAIN! WTELF! There are so many co-morbid conditions that go with this auto-immune condition that really just fuck you up itself that it just makes my head spin..Anyway....I just had to get this off my chest..either that or drink myself into a stupor..and that wouldn't be good with the imitrex i just took. OMG she said HAVE A GOOD TIME!!! WTELF!!! OK.. Let me hit her upside the head and see if she has a good time..geez..
Anyway..She's had a bad day..been thinking about Connie/Joan a lot today because she didn't know when she died and misses her. Still..No excuse. Anyway I feel better now about it..got it vented...thank you for reading! JLM
